Academic IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic ( In January, 2016) & Band 9 Model Essay.

BAND 9 SAMPLE
BAND 9 SAMPLE

IELTS Writing Actual Test in January, 2016 & Band 9 Argumentative Essay – Topic: 

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Agree or disagree.

Band 9.0 sample

Many people believe that the reduction of the crime rate will be achieved more effectively through better education rather than prison sentences. I disagree with this view, because I consider that both approaches have their own distinctive merits and should each play an integral role in tackling crime.

On the one hand, I would argue that prison is effective in dealing with offenders. One reason is that a person who commits a crime must learn that unlawful actions have consequences. Murderers, for instance, must be imprisoned for many years and such a punishment may act as a deterrent. They know that they will face loss of freedom, social isolation and separation from their loved ones if they carry out such a criminal act. Another reason is that when serious offenders are behind bars, they are no longer a danger to society and people can walk in the streets or relax in their homes more safely.

On the other hand, I consider that education has a complementary role to play. Firstly, in schools, students should study some aspects of the law which affect their lives. Having some knowledge of the law, students are better prepared to avoid situations which may involve them in crime or becoming a victim. For example, youngsters must study the important laws about driving and road safety. Secondly, in prisons themselves, educational programmes must aim to provide prisoners with skills and qualifications to find work when they are released.

I believe that prison sentences are one essential weapon in the fight against crime, and I disagree that providing better education alone is a more effective solution to reduce the crime rate.

(275 words)

Use words/phrases:

the crime rate: a measure of the number of crimes in a particular area during a period of time

Example: As a result of more unemployment, the crime rate in the area is increasing.

distinctive: having a quality that makes something different and easily noticed.

Example: My teacher has a distinctive approach to teaching English. Unlike the other teachers, she does not teach any grammar.

play an integral role in tackling crime: play an essential part [along with other pads] in dealing with crime.

Example: Security cameras play an integral role in tackling crime in stores and other public places.

commits a crime: does something wrong or illegal.

Example: In the UK, a youngster who commits a crime by stealing a car will almost certainly go to prison.

social isolation: the slate of separating somebody

Example: Some form of social isolation is necessary for people who are violent or dangerous to others.

 

Main IELTS Pages:

This website is to develop your IELTS skills with tips, model answers, lessons, free books, and more. Each section (Listening, Speaking, Writing, Reading) has a complete collection of lessons to help you improve your IELTS skills.

Get all the latest updates/lessons via email:

Subscribe for free IELTS lessons/Books/Tips/Sample Answers/Advice from our IELTS experts. We help millions of IELTS learners maximize their IELTS scores!

Subscribe to IELTS Material to receive the latest lessons

Did not See What You Were Looking For? - Try Search!

Academic IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic ( In January, 2016) & Band 9 Model Essay.
3 (60%) 2 votes

The following two tabs change content below.

Huy Quoc

Latest posts by Huy Quoc (see all)

Written By

2 Comments

Welcome to IELTS Material! Check it daily to receive useful IELTS books, practice tests and tips to get high score in IELTS exam