Academic IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic ( In March, 2015) & Band 9 Model Essay.

BAND 9 SAMPLE
BAND 9 SAMPLE

IELTS Writing Actual Test in March, 2016 & Band 9 Argumentative Essay – Topic: 

Some people believe famous people’s support towards international aid organizations draws attention to problems. Others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. 

Band 9.0 sample

It is argued that well-known people’s involvement in global aid organizations attracts the attention of the community. While some people suppose that their participation may downplay the significance of problems. I would argue that this trend could bring about enormous and positive changes to society.

On the one hand, famous people can lessen the importance of problems. One reason is that most people often consider the main purpose of celebrities’ support as a way to enhance their reputations. In an effort to attract the attention of society, a number of important people try to be involved in as many volunteer projects as possible without any particular passion or interest in those. Furthermore, the association with celebrities may trivialize the serious work of international aid organizations since the focus of the public may be shifted away from this endeavour to the fame and public image of the celebrity concerned. Consequently, we sometimes have to question their motives for involvement.

On the other hand, I strongly believe that celebrities can bring meaningful changes to social activities. Firstly, they have a huge number of fans who are inspired by their actions. For example, when My Tam – a Vietnamese legendary singer – took part in a project to help underprivileged children in mountainous areas, thousands of youngsters from her fan clubs joined in this project by donating money and working as volunteers thanks to her encouragement. Secondly, celebrities are often trusted by both local and international communities, which may lead to success in raising the profile of aid organizations. As a result, more people learn about projects and donate money or volunteer to help either practically or in fund-raising.

In conclusion, although there are some drawbacks to celebrity participation in international aid organizations, it seems to me that it is more advantageous for the community that they take part in voluntary activities.

(309 words)

Use words/phrases:

  • global aid organizations : international organizations that provide money and specific types of assistance to areas around the world
    Example: She hopes to work for an important global aid organization after graduating
  • attracts the attention of: to get the attention of, to do something in a way that makes people look
    Example: Lady Gaga’s antics always attracts the attention of the press.
  • downplay the significance of: to make something seem like it isn’t that important
    Example: The company tried to downplay the significance of their financial shortfall this last quarter
  • enormous and positive changes: changes that are big, important or significant and good
    Example: They hope that the new laws will make enormous and positive changes toward addressing issues caused by climate change.
  •  

    enhance their reputations: to make people think good thoughts about you so that you have a good reputation
    Example: Some celebrities think that donating large sums of money enhances their reputations as generous people.

  • question their motives: to wonder why someone is doing something, to question the motivation for why someone will do something
    Example: The police offer questioned their motives, but the couple said that they were just trying to help.

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