Academic IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic ( In May, 2016) & Band 9 Model Essay

band-9-sample

IELTS Writing Actual Test in May, 2016 & Band 9 Argumentative Essay – Topic: 

Nowadays, young people admire sports stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Band 9.0 Sample 1

In recent years there has been a growing tendency for the younger generation to look up to sports stars as role models. Although not all famous athletes set a good example, I believe that the majority do have a positive influence on the behaviour of youngsters.

From an individual perspective, an adolescent may idolise a well-known sportsperson who has many good qualities. No successful sports star makes it to the top without years of dedication to training and a healthy lifestyle. A youngster who seeks to emulate David Beckham or Serena Williams will be inspired to join a sports club and work out regularly at the gym as a step on the ladder of success. Other sportspeople have shown determination to overcome injuries or illness, another admirable quality that may motivate some young people to deal with such setbacks in their own lives. The Paralympic Games, for example, are watched on TV worldwide, and disabled youngsters can draw inspiration from athletes in wheelchairs or with artificial limbs competing at the highest level.

From a social perspective, there are many examples of sports stars who provide a moral lesson for youngsters to follow. Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the most idolised football superstars in the world, but he still finds time to support charity events and inspire his fans to join charitable campaigns. Even negative examples of sports stars who have cheated to reach the top serve as moral lessons for young people. The cyclist Lance Armstrong, who was found guilty of taking performance-enhancing drugs, was publicly shamed, though he had once been a hero because of his personal fight against cancer.

In conclusion, youngsters are influenced in positive ways by their admiration for sports celebrities and the example of fitness, dedication and sometimes altruism set by those stars.

(298 words)

Use words/phrases:

look up to: admire or respect someone

Example: As a result of his work for charity, many people look up to Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft.

idolise: admire someone very much

Example: Micheal Jackson was idolised by millions of fans

make it to the top: be very successful

Example: Although she is very ambitious, she does not work hard enough to make it the top.

draw inspiration from: be inspired by something to have new ideas or new ways of thinking, or to be creative

Example: Many famous artists have drawn inspiration from the countryside.

reach the top: become very successful at something.

Example: Like all great footballers, Pele trained for years until he reached the top.

performance-enhancing: things – such as drugs – that people take in order to be more successful in a sports competition.

Example: After taking performance-enhancing drugs, the athlete was banned from professional sport.

Band 9.0 Sample 2

Although top sports athletes are often poor role models, they gain the admiration of millions of youngsters. This is overall a negative trend for the young generation and society despite one single benefit it may bring about.

I think this trend could be profitable only if the young disregard the negative and focus on the positive aspects of sports stars’ lives. Ronaldo, a world-class central forward, for example, is infamous for his extreme individualism, but is still a role model of diligence and determination for all the efforts he has exerted in football training. Many adolescents who are Ronaldo’s fans have overlooked his undesirable personal traits and trained themselves hard to achieve extraordinary results in their lives. In this way, the young may still benefit from sports stars’ valuable life lessons.

However, I contend that this is generally an adverse trend because with the majority of youngsters, it may lead to unpleasant consequences. This is because the young could be immature and they may imitate all the actions of the stars, irrespective of whether these actions are beneficial or not. What these young people may copy may range from a materialistic lifestyle, an individualistic way of living to more problematic behaviours such as sexism, racism and discrimination. These outcomes are negative not only for the juveniles themselves but for society as a whole in the future.

All the existing data provides a concrete foundation that even though youngsters may learn some useful life experiences from top athletes who do not set good examples, the proclivity of admiring and imitating these stars may result in a wide range of adverse effects and thus is a negative issue in today’s society.

(279 words, written by Tu Pham, Head teacher at IPP IELTS)

Useful Expressions

  • Profitable (adj)
  • Individualism (n)
  • Diligence (n)
  • Undesirable (adj)
  • Immature (adj)
  • Materialistic (adj)
  • Proclivity (n)

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Academic IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic ( In May, 2016) & Band 9 Model Essay
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