Academic IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic 08

Model Essay 11:

It has been indicated by the latest researches that there are an increase number of violence crimes throughout the young individuals under 18 years old. The reason for this phenomenon as the psychologists believe is lack of emotional and social learning by the parents and teachers. Psychologically, there are two crucial factors that making teachers and parents careless about their young children and students ate the age of 18 in learning.

Parents and teachers treat adults in serious ways during the learning process for two points. First of all, they observe that these group of children do not need emotion and softness as younger children, and they really pay attention just on their academic studies and how to pass successfully from the school. Eventually, the relationships between parents, teachers and students become extremely hard without any love. Secondly, once the circumstance at the school or home is getting worse and under pressure for students, they start to hate every body around them and act negatively and violently against innocent. Consequently, teachers and parents cause people at age of 18 to be dangerous criminals in the society.

The other significant point is parents and teachers are less informative of excellent method of learning and teaching 18 years old students. Although there are several of resources that could teach people the intelligent approach of emotional and social learning for adult, these teachers are still not professional at it. In Canada for instance, Chapter, who is the famous library, sells the newest and easiest books of dealing with secondary schools students, yet criminal behaviors have reached the peak at schools, streets and public places. Lastly, this problem is difficult to be solved without increasing the awareness among teachers and parents of the importance of reading about emotional social learning.

In Conclusion, to decrease the number of crime violence among 18 years old individuals, parents and teachers should teach them in inspirational and friendly methods. I realize that strict communication and narrow education are the influential factors for making these youth criminals.

(338 words)

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  • Write about the following topic:

    Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers.

    To what extend do you agree or disagree with this option?

    Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

    Write at least 250 words

    • Let’s me take some overall words in this discourse. First of all, This above essay is not comply with the requirement of IELTS essay, namely the amount of words is far beyond of limitation allowed. That will lead to take much time for practice anything else. Secondly, in the introduction paragraph, the writer did not mention his( her) thesis completely, even the balanced opinion was not clear on it. Some academic should be used in the structural in order to obtain high marks, and also there are plenty of the simple structural should be changed by academic ones for getting high score. Using synonym & antonym should be paid attention to apply more. Eventually, if writer wishes an expected score, let’s figure out the structural by referring some effective methods of Ryan or Simon on the internet. Regards.

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