Academic IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic 08

Model Essay 13:

Nowadays, it is all but impossible to open a newspaper without articles on adolescent crimes. There has been a dramatic increase in their number and brutality. Some psychologists claim that it is the consequence of insufficient emotional and social teaching from parents and teachers, with which I strongly agree. It is a fact that emotional and social teaching plays a large part in the psychological development of a youngster. As a result, any education that leaves it out will result in emotionally insecure students who are likely to be wrongdoers. Halfway through the process of growing up, virtually every adolescent endures deep psychological changes which may cause depression, rebelliousness, etc. In some cases which those negative feelings are not sensitively handled, then comes a time when adolescents starts to feel disaffected to the society and resort to violating social principles, sowing the seeds of crimes. Teaching on emotions and social relationships will help young citizens be immune to such deeds by helping them control feelings and keeping them in touch with the community. At the same time, many a people argue that the causes of the growing number of youngster criminals are much more complicated as many factors are to blame: violent TV programs, bad materials on the Internet or even the adolescent’s personalities. Be that as it may, emotional and social teaching is meaned to help adolescents be immune to criminality. Will a bad-tempered boy kill someone in a fit of anger if he knows how to control his temper or it is a terrible thing to do? One example of IVS is included to support my point. IVS is a boarding school which has a reputation for making many bad students, potential criminals, turn over a new leaf. Its teachers give a simple explanation for its success: bad behaviours stem from the ignorance of surrounding people’s feelings and lack of care whose elimination will put an end to the students’ wrong attitudes and that is what the teachers give them by means of the teaching. All in all, the lack of emotional and social teaching explains the present wave of adolescent crimes. Let us hope when educational reforms with emphasis on educating good, rather than knowledgeable, students and parents are more aware of the needs of such teaching, crimes will reduce and our society will become safer.

(Written by: Hoaluaxanh – 389 words)

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  • Write about the following topic:

    Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers.

    To what extend do you agree or disagree with this option?

    Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

    Write at least 250 words

    • Let’s me take some overall words in this discourse. First of all, This above essay is not comply with the requirement of IELTS essay, namely the amount of words is far beyond of limitation allowed. That will lead to take much time for practice anything else. Secondly, in the introduction paragraph, the writer did not mention his( her) thesis completely, even the balanced opinion was not clear on it. Some academic should be used in the structural in order to obtain high marks, and also there are plenty of the simple structural should be changed by academic ones for getting high score. Using synonym & antonym should be paid attention to apply more. Eventually, if writer wishes an expected score, let’s figure out the structural by referring some effective methods of Ryan or Simon on the internet. Regards.

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