Academic IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic 08

Model Essay 4:

It appears that the youth crime rate in the modern world is increasing at an alarming rate. Although there may be many factors causing this issue, it is perceivable that the absence of suitable education provided by parents and teachers are the major problems behind this circumstance. This position will thus be analysed in the following paragraphs, supported by relevant examples.

Firstly, parents’ increasing occupational commitments have limited their opportunities to educate children on moral qualities. The current economic condition of the contemporary society requires parents to spend more time at work. This has consequently created fewer interactions between children and parents, precluding youngsters from learning basic emotional aspects such as love and affection from adults. An exemplary case can be seen from my cousin, who barely gets a chance to learn about a specific manner to talk to strangers or elderly people. Hence, it seems that such reality has disabled him to possess an ethical mindset, which might case behavioural problems outside home in the future.

Secondly, the modern education system enforces students to obtain tangible achievements, rather than ethical perspectives. For instance, there was a girl in my high school who performed well academically. Although she frequently offended other classmates’ feelings with foul words, she was continuously favoured by teachers because of her good grades. It is personally felt that such an inappropriate teaching motives of the teachers have left many students to focus on achieving material accomplishments, regardless of how badly one behaves.

In conclusion, the two aforementioned ideas clearly encapsulate how the lack of solid and ethical supervisions by adults leaves children to develop problematic thoughts and behaviour.

[ Written by – Aqeela – 272 words]

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  • Write about the following topic:

    Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers.

    To what extend do you agree or disagree with this option?

    Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

    Write at least 250 words

    • Let’s me take some overall words in this discourse. First of all, This above essay is not comply with the requirement of IELTS essay, namely the amount of words is far beyond of limitation allowed. That will lead to take much time for practice anything else. Secondly, in the introduction paragraph, the writer did not mention his( her) thesis completely, even the balanced opinion was not clear on it. Some academic should be used in the structural in order to obtain high marks, and also there are plenty of the simple structural should be changed by academic ones for getting high score. Using synonym & antonym should be paid attention to apply more. Eventually, if writer wishes an expected score, let’s figure out the structural by referring some effective methods of Ryan or Simon on the internet. Regards.

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