Academic IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic 08

Model Essay 5:

The 21st century has witnessed a sudden and consistent surge of criminal offences including physical, social and cyber-crimes by people, especially by youngsters who are under the age of 18 years. This incidence is not attributed to a particular gender or religion and this is undoubtedly alarming for the social harmony across the globe.

Many people, social activists including psychologists suggest that, these behavioral tragedies happen due to the lack of attention to the children from their parents and teachers. In my opinion, though the above said context is true and significant, there are obviously a number of other reasons contributing to it.

Nowadays, people have hectic lifestyle that they are engaged mostly to professional life and hence there is little room for family life and recreation. Compared to ancient days, family get together and involvement among family members are often seen rarely. Therefore children who are students, normally enjoy their freedom than they deserve and they are not given enough counselling in order to make them able to choose what’s best for them. Teachers are also majorly looking at the academic performances rather than social and emotional development.

On the other hand, there are so many other factors which could actually made the scenario worse. The use of cyber world, the addiction to online social media are arguably some of them. This enables pupils to experiment new things which were normally entitled to only adolescents in the early generation. Students and youngsters are also being influenced by the violent games and negative role plays in the movies. Moreover, the availability of drugs and narcotic materials have made the situation dangerous. For example, reports suggest that in India, the use of euphoric substances such as Marijuana has inclined leading to the rise in number of registered police cases. The lack of education to parents regarding all these topics are also a contributing factor.

In a nutshell. I certainly believe that day by day more youngsters are engaged in anti-social activities and this can only be prevented by a systematic approach by both parents and by the governments.

[ Written by – Anoop Veliyath – 347 words]

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  • Write about the following topic:

    Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers.

    To what extend do you agree or disagree with this option?

    Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

    Write at least 250 words

    • Let’s me take some overall words in this discourse. First of all, This above essay is not comply with the requirement of IELTS essay, namely the amount of words is far beyond of limitation allowed. That will lead to take much time for practice anything else. Secondly, in the introduction paragraph, the writer did not mention his( her) thesis completely, even the balanced opinion was not clear on it. Some academic should be used in the structural in order to obtain high marks, and also there are plenty of the simple structural should be changed by academic ones for getting high score. Using synonym & antonym should be paid attention to apply more. Eventually, if writer wishes an expected score, let’s figure out the structural by referring some effective methods of Ryan or Simon on the internet. Regards.

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