Academic IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic 08

Model Essay 6:

In the prevailing scenario, crimes are drastically increased all over the world, this is due to people valued for money rather than the values and relations. According to me, youngsters are not getting enough support from their parents as well as from the teachers, whereas some adolescents attracted to the bad habits through their friends.

To begin with, in this contemporary world, both the parents need to work to get an economical status in the society. So, they don’t have time to check and teach their kids how to behave in the society. For instance, in the US, most of the people are doing jobs by leaving their children in the baby care centres and they don’t have time to spend with them. Because of that absurd behaviours can be observed among teens and they don’t understand the moral values.

Moreover, teachers’ role is very important in a child’s life. They are the key persons in building a society. But nowadays, they are merely teaching the subjects like Mathematics, science and languages. They have to teach not only academic lessons which are useful for the future career of students but also the social and emotional qualities need to improve in a child. For example, in the developed countries, children are not respecting their teachers. I recently read news article about a child; the child went to school with a gun and shoot couple of his classmates and a teacher and then he Shoot himself and died.

However, adolescents also are getting attracted to their friends without any knowledge of the moral values. They don’t understand what is right and what is wrong. So, they are getting addicted to bad habits like drugs, smoking and spoiling their lives. In fact, during my secondary education, a person had a habit of smoking, and he encouraged other persons and some people learnt that habit. Some times without their knowledge they get addicted to other people’s bad habits.

In conclusion, children need to get an emotional bond with the parents. In my opinion, grownups should have the social values from their parents and teachers, however, sometimes, they need to know on their own to make decisions.

[ Written by – Navya Karnati -362 words ]

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  • Write about the following topic:

    Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers.

    To what extend do you agree or disagree with this option?

    Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

    Write at least 250 words

    • Let’s me take some overall words in this discourse. First of all, This above essay is not comply with the requirement of IELTS essay, namely the amount of words is far beyond of limitation allowed. That will lead to take much time for practice anything else. Secondly, in the introduction paragraph, the writer did not mention his( her) thesis completely, even the balanced opinion was not clear on it. Some academic should be used in the structural in order to obtain high marks, and also there are plenty of the simple structural should be changed by academic ones for getting high score. Using synonym & antonym should be paid attention to apply more. Eventually, if writer wishes an expected score, let’s figure out the structural by referring some effective methods of Ryan or Simon on the internet. Regards.

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