MODEL ESSAY 07:
I strongly believe that both components mentioned: the growing of fast food counters along with parent’s attention deficit over their children health could be blamed for the causes of overweight young people.
In term of fast food counter, it should not be solely pointed as the contribution factor toward this matter. The increment of cow milk consumption in toddlers, in a change for breastfeeding milk, is also in charge guilty. Several research conducted on this, had proven, that obesity is common among baby who were given cow milk instead of being breastfed. Fast food, on the other hand, contains high fats and unsaturated fatty acids, which are hazardous for well being not only for children but also for grown up people. Whereas parents lack of attention on their children eating habits, must also taken seriously. They must be acknowledged the importance of introducing nutritious meals to children. Children under five years of age, for instance, is best given high protein contains food, which accounts for brain development and boosting their cognitive ability. And as for obesity, one must be alerted on it impact on children health status for it had been recognized as one of the major factors resulting in cardiovascular disease, diabetes and stroke.
In conclusion to this essay, parent’s knowledge in healthy life style and early introduction to the children must given more emphasis to help anticipating the increase numbers of overweight young people. And in addition, government along with society must also hold full responsibility on the children well being in general. It might be necessary in the future to create a policy controlling fast food outlets opening.
(This model answer has been submitted by Nuke Amadeus, IELTS 8.5)
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