Nowadays businesses face problems with new employees – IELTS Writing Task 2 Problem/Solution Essay

can someone give me feedback on my essay

A large proportion of employers are raising concerns over their new employees,who happen to be recent graduates.Many argue that, they lack the essential qualities to intergrate smoothly into the working system .The main contributor to this would be,the overally theory based teaching approach in tertiary schools,and a possible solution would be to increase the duration of work placements.

To begin with,most higher level educational centers believe more in the theory version of the courses that they offer.As such ,students are taught to memorize inorder to excel academically .Likewise ,paper based examinations become the yardsticks for measuring progress.Consequently ,pupils become utterly focused on obtaining higher grades ,while ignoring other important factors.Moreover,these types of educational systems encourage individualism to the extent that scholars become highly competetive,while completely overlooking the benefits of teamwork.Take for instance ,a college student who becomes soley obssesed with receiving the’ student of the year ‘award.In this scenario, the learner tries so hard to step on his counterparts on his way up the academic ladder.

On the other hand ,increasing both the opportunities for work attachments as well as the duration can be beneficial.This is because, the students become more acustomed to working in a work setting that is mainly defined by teams .They also realize sooner that a company”s success is entirely based on group work ,and not on the mere efforts of an individual.Even so,sharing work space with other mature and experienced employees ,nurtures the student’s interpersonal qualities.

In conclusion,too much emphasis on the theory side of learning has led to the lack of social qualities amongst the fresh graduates,and increasing the length and availability of internships could be the remedy.

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Can someone please check my response? Thanks in advance.

Although social skills, such as communication are essential in businesses, some of the new workers who just graduated from university lack those skills and cause problems in their workplaces. This is mainly because of not having courses related to interpersonal skills in universities, as well as recruits ignoring these skills in their internship period. There are several solutions to deal with these issues.

Universities teach a wide variety of courses that are needed to start a successful career. To illustrate, computer science students are taught programming languages which are considered the most essential skill for the expertise in this field. Nevertheless, the universities pay little to no attention to the other required skills – collectively known as interpersonal skills. Given that most jobs require human interaction, this creates problems at the first workplaces of their graduates. In addition, most universities require formal work experience for being able to graduate. While the students use this opportunity to improve their industry-related skills, they are negligent on social skills.

Even though most courses taught at universities are necessary for students’ careers, there are a number of them that will be forgotten after the final exams. To illustrate, there is a certain college that teaches classical music to engineering students. Removing unnecessary courses like this and adding social skills to the curriculum will definitely make graduates more suitable for jobs. Furthermore, universities should demand from businesses where their students are interning evaluation of interpersonal skills. For this reason, students will pay more attention to relational skills.

To conclude, universities should adopt changes to the curriculum and summer internships to increase the importance of interpersonal skills.

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