IELTS Writing Task 2 Argumentative Essay Topic: Students today can access information online

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IELTS Writing Task 2 Argumentative Essay Topic: Students today can access information online
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Janet

Janet

Janet had been an IELTS Trainer before she dived into the field of Content Writing. During her days of being a Trainer, Janet had written essays and sample answers which got her students an 8+ band in the IELTS Test. Her contributions to our articles have been engaging and simple to help the students understand and grasp the information with ease. Janet, born and brought up in California, had no idea about the IELTS until she moved to study in Canada. Her peers leaned to her for help as her first language was English.

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2 Comments

amarjeet singh

Posted on Dec 18, 2023

New technology has changed the way of children spend their leisure time ? do you think advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantage
It is argued that the way of spending free time is changed by advent of technology. Although there are some cons such as suffering from obesity and poor eyesight, I believe that it has many pros like as enhancement of knowledge , making the new friends.
To begin with, there is a prominent demerit why new technology has adverse effect on people health. It effect on their eyes. To elaborate it , when children spend their leisure time it , they would suffer from poor eyesight .moreover, by spending the time children not only suffer from obesity problem but also reduce the power of digestion. Secondly they would become introvert and they do not like to spend their time with kith and kin. In other words , they would decline their friend circle and communication skills .for example, a survey was conducted by united state census brual in 2011. They revealed that 45% were suffering from stomach problem. Because they spend around 6 to 8 hours on technology.
On the other hand, I believe that pros of this trend outweigh the cons .first and foremost, it helps to improve their communication skills, because they can make new friends and do communicate with them. their ability to promote learning and skills development, particularly amongst children. There is a vast array of educational apps and games that can help children to learn mathematics, science, and language skills in a simple, fun, and engaging manner, without having to be in a classroom with a teacher. Similarly, video games have the potential to teach children problem-solving skills, critical thinking, and hand-eye coordination. Furthermore, technologies such as social media, messaging apps, and video chat programs have made it easier for children to stay connected with their family and friends, even if they are physically distant.
In conclusion, I reiterate that despite the cons of technology has changed the children leisure time such as obesity , introvert nature, I believe that pros of this trend has more such as doing communication, making new friend , grab more knowledge .

please give me feedback

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IELTS Expert

IELTS Expert

Posted on Dec 19, 2023

Overall Band 4.5
Although complex sentences are attempted, they tend to be faulty, and the greatest accuracy is achieved on simple sentences.Punctuation is also faulty. The writer expresses a position, but the development is not always clear.
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