Contents
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
When teenagers finish school, they have to make up their mind about whether they continue their studies with the aim to obtaining Bachelor Degree or they seek a job. While getting a job right after graduating from high school can bring us a rich variety of benefits, I would suggest that teenagers should go to college or university.
Getting down to working straight after finishing school is attractive for various reasons. The first reason is that teenagers can be more independent when they dedicate their time to earning money. As a result, they will be able to settle down, start a family or having enough money to travel. Another reason is that starting to work as soon as possible can help them escalate up the career ladder much more easily. This is because they will have a greater opportunity to embark on widening their horizon, gaining real experience and learning practical skills related to their chosen profession, thereby resulting in a successful career.
On the other hand, I would argue that that it is far more beneficial for students to keep studying to get a Bachelor Degree, rather than pursue a career. Firstly, without any qualifications acknowledged by a college or university, the young people will find it more competitive to successfully get a job which they have a burning desire for. Secondly, academic qualifications are required in many professions. In other words, there are hundreds of positions in a company which requires a relevant qualification to get into, such as doctor, lawyer. As a consequence, while lack of academic qualifications exerts a negative effect on the career path of the young people, university graduates can seize more and better job opportunities, earn higher salaries.
For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that it is highly likely for students to have a better career in later life if they have a university or college degree.
( 317 words, band 9)
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Who scores your essays on this website? Who gives them 9? They are good but they contain a lot of speaking collocations and vocabulary (getting down to) which is not allowed for band 9, there are some slight mistakes (namely, with the aim to OBTAINING, whereas Google says “with the aim to OBTAIN). Moreover, the instruction clearly ask you to give opinion and you don’t present as a separate third body paragraph. Word count is over 300 while I read in many IELTS preparation books that we should aim for 270-290 ideally. Are all these things allowed for band 9 as to you and in general?
Thank you a lot.
Hi,
Thank you for your comment and feedback. This is a Band 9 Sample Essay written by IELTS Examiner in the UK.
For some of your questions:
Get down to is a common phrasal verb and you can use it in Writing or Speaking.
With the aim/view to/of Verb-ing is a grammar structure. Aim and view can be use interchangeably. Please check out on dictionary for more details.
http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/with-a-view-to-doing-sth
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/aim
For essay structure, I follow this structure:
Introduction
Sentence 1- Paraphrase Question
Sentence 2- State Both Points of View
Sentence 2- Thesis Statement
Sentence 3- Outline Sentence
Main Body Paragraph 1
Sentence 1- State first viewpoint
Sentence 2- Discuss first viewpoint
Sentence 3- Reason why you agree or disagree with viewpoint
Sentence 4- Example to support your view
Main Body Paragraph 2
Sentence 1- State second viewpoint
Sentence 2- Discuss second viewpoint
Sentence 3- Reason why you agree or disagree with viewpoint
Sentence 4- Example to support your view
Conclusion
Sentence 1- Summary
Sentence 2- State which one is better or more important
Regarding the length of essay, there is no limit. You can read official guide to IELTS by Cambridge or on IELTS/British Council website.
Hope it helps!